Addiction relapse for people new to recovery is virtually imminent. In fact it is now part of the cycle of change. For people to understand what it takes to stay clean and sober might as well be stage one of that cycle of change. The 15 signs of Addiction relapse may help at least some people avoid the relapse cycle. People just don’t get it! They underestimate the reasoning that change is a process rather than an event and you are either working on relapse or recovery at any given time. There is very little wiggle room in between. People start to feel better physically and they think they’ve got the whole recovery thing down.
If they have not dealt with the emotional depth of why they were self harming their lives with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, gambling, shopping, other people or even anger pointed at others, then they stand little chance of stopping addiction relapse. Your addiction is in the gym doing reps, waiting for you to return to your old neighbourhoods. You gave to practice mindful recovery on a daily basis. You must know the 15 signs of Addiction relapse like the back of your hand. You will be the last person to know about your personality disorders or your character defects. Your minds defence mechanisms will have hidden those away well for you. You need connection. You need a program and other people. You need teachers and purveyors of wisdom to help you get out of a self-harm cycle, which is doing anything over and over again that doesn’t work for you. So be wily and weary. Stay alert and mindful of what you really want in life and figure out a way to make rock-solid decisions to play things through in your head a few times before taking any actions you may regret. Learn to respond rather than react. Learn humility and find as much of it as you can as fast as you can. Then, never let go of it. It will drown your ego out of your very blood stream. To live the life of your dreams you are going to have to follow a certain set of steps and its going to be hard work!
A Checklist of 15 signs of Addiction relapse:
Many danger signs warn us of a possible relapse. If we do a weekly inventory of the danger signs listed in this section, we may be able to prevent some relapses at least. Mindfulness is key. Print them out and pin them up.
Resentment: The Big Book refers to resentment as the ‘number one offender’ because ‘it destroys more alcoholics than anything else’. Holding on to the past hurts or slights (real and imagined) can trigger a relapse. It may be that we need to do another Fourth or Fifth Step with a sponsor, a clergy person or someone in our recovery programme whom we respect and trust.
Exhaustion: When we are well rested and in good health, our thinking is clearer. When we are overtired and in poor health, our thinking is more muddled. If we feel bad enough, we begin to think drinking or using couldn’t make it worse.
Dishonesty: We begin with a pattern of unnecessary little lies we tell to fellow workers, friends and family. Then we lie to ourselves. This is called ‘rationalising’ – making excuses for doing what we know we should not do.
Impatience: A super important point on the 15 signs of Addiction relapse. We feel impatient when it seems things aren’t happening fast enough or others aren’t doing what they should be doing fast enough.
Argumentativeness: Are we arguing small and ridiculous points? Do we always need to be right? We may be looking for an excuse to drink or use.
Anger: When we stop drinking or doing other drugs, many emotions come flooding in. We may get angry at ourselves that we have a problem called ‘addiction’; we may get angry with others who are not addicted and seem to have it so easy. We may become angry because our lives haven’t improved despite our sobriety. Such anger – when not discussed at meetings, with a sponsor, or with the person you’re angry at – can lead to relapse.
Depression: Unreasonable and unaccountable despair comes in cycles. When it does, deal with it. Talk about it at meetings, with a sponsor or with a counsellor. Don’t bottle it up. Our spiritual healing and wellness centre will help you on your journey out of depression.
Frustration: Things aren’t going our way. We’re agitated. But when this happens we can remember that recovery gives us the tools we need to handle life on life’s terms. One of life’s terms is: ‘Things will not go our way at times’. Another is: ‘People will not behave the way we want them to behave’.
Self-Pity: Beware of thoughts such as these: “Why do these things happen to me? Why must I be an alcoholic? People don’t appreciate all I am doing for them.
Cockiness: We feel as if we’ve got it made. We no longer fear alcoholism or other drug addiction. We go into drinking and using situations to prove to others that we have no problem. If we do this often enough, it will wear down our defences. A favourite saying of old-timers in AA is: “If you hang around the barbershop long enough, you’re going to get a haircut”.
Complacency: If drinking is the furthest thing from our minds, then not drinking is no longer a conscious thought either. It’s dangerous to let up on discipline because everything is going so well. A little fear is a good thing. More relapses occur when things are going well than when they’re not.
Unrealistic Expectations: When we think: “I’ve changed, why hasn’t everyone else?” we’re in trouble. If people change, great. If they don’t, we can’t force them. We cannot expect other to change their lifestyles just because we have. The world is not obligated to pay us respect because we have sobered up.
Lack of Discipline: When we stop prayer, meditation, daily inventory and AA attendance, we slip into complacency and boredom. But we cannot afford to be bored with our programme. The cost of relapse is too great.
Mind-games: As dependent people, we can play mind games. Perhaps we think: “As long as I’ve quit using alcohol, a little marijuana wouldn’t hurt”. Or: “What’s wrong with a prescription form my doctor to calm me down when I’m nervous?” Those of us who have used this kind of thinking know how often it leads us back to our old addiction while introducing us to a new one.
Greed: We should not set goals we cannot reach through normal effort. We’ll get what we’re entitled to as long as we do our best, but it may not come as soon as we like. When we find ourselves wanting too much, we can remember the adage: ‘Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have’.
For more information about 15 signs of Addiction relapse, or to start our very own private, world-class addiction treatment program get in touch. You won’t be type cast, judges or boxed into any categories. Recovery, renewal and transformation are our business pathwaysplett@gmail.com or visit www.pathwaysplettrehab.co.za
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