Making changes through addiction
Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. — George Bernard Shaw
Change is inevitable. Making changes through addiction is also just as inevitable. Staying addicted is not an option. It always ends in death, or a stay in an institution or a hospital. Make no mistake. Addiction is progressive. It gets worse over time. Something the active addict is not ready to face. They dream of another ending, one where they get to do what they do, without the chaos and drama, without the pain that inevitably come with addiction. The individual needs to summon up a great deal of courage and be prepared to let go of their old habits. Once the individual becomes sober it does not mean the process of change is complete. It continues indefinitely. Anyone who builds a successful life away from addiction will constantly face changes and challenges which are of course changes through addiction that are experienced by each individual sufferer. It is part of what makes their life away from addiction so wonderful.
A popular model for explaining the stages a user goes through is the Cycle of changes through addiction. A user typically goes through the cycle several times as part of their recovery journey; the model helps explain that lapse and relapse are a common part of the journey for people trying to give up any substance.
The changes through addiction cycle also shows how family members should understand which stage the user is at and not attempt to provide inappropriate support – for example providing information on rehabs too early.
See the diagram below for ways you could help in the different stages of the cycle. Here is a closer look at the cycle
Cycle of changes through addiction recovery
What to change first in addiction recovery:
Drug and alcohol addiction and alcoholism are progressive, fatal illnesses that are classified as “diseases” by the medical and therapeutic communities. They are incurable. Drug and alcohol addiction, however, can be treated and suffers can ultimately recover.
In order to make changes through addiction recovery, there are several things that someone that suffers from substance abuse, substance use disorder or drug and alcohol addiction can do to support themselves in their recovery and set themselves up for the best possible outcome, that being a lifetime of recovery that includes both freedom from drugs and alcohol but also happiness and a freedom from the selfish, self-centered, fearful emotional and mental anguish of addiction.
Therefore, what can someone do that is trying to get clean and sober or just starting their journey of recovery to make sure they create a long term, sustainable recovery for themselves? Here are ten key things to do for anyone overcoming addiction in order to create a sustainable recovery from drugs and alcohol:
· SELFISHNESS
Taking care of your own comfort / advantage. Do you spend a lot of time worrying about your own interests, without regard for the interests of others? Do you plot and plan to your own advantage and gain? Ouch! Ask how have self-centredness, selfishness (e.g.o. edging God out) and preoccupation with your substance affected you and those around you?
· DISHONESTY
Not being honest comes in many forms – hiding, making alibis / excuses, keeping secret plans and plots, thinking dishonestly, justifying, telling half-truths, being phoney, lying, lying by omission, cheating, conning, breaking promises, people-pleasing.
· PRIDE
Pride, is your ego on steroids, it makes you your own law, judge of morality and your own God (my mighty, insert name here: ____________________will be done). Addiction knows no will of love & tolerance. Pride falsely places you above other people so you will not admit (step A) to any human weakness (grandiosity, arrogance, false pride). Pride enables you to make excuses for your own mistakes decade after decade. But, know it is killing you for your efforts. Pride keeps you from looking at your own behaviour. Behaviour is a result of your thinking. It does not lie. Your pride and ego says you do not need help to make changes through addiction. My will, will suffice despite the reality of my long, hard earned, written in stone, history. I deceive only myself!
· RESENTMENTS / ANGER
Resentful people hang on to angry feelings long after they have outlived their usefulness. Angry feelings about how we live, where, and when. Resentments are always good excuses for our irresponsible behaviour. Do you believe anger to rule you? Do you deal with your anger in a destructive way? Have you held on to resentments because of another’s behaviour?
· INTOLERANCE
Refusal to put up with beliefs (religious, or political or spiritually free), practices, customs or habits of daily behaviour that differ from our own. Intolerance can result from resentment. It becomes easy to blame others when we are unhappy. Are you able to accept imperfections in yourself or others? How were you intolerant of others in the past?
· IMPATIENCE
Unwillingness to bear delay, opposition, pain, worry. Describe some situations in which your impatience caused damage to you or others.
· ENVY / COMPARING
Sadness or jealousy at another’s good fortune. The process of comparing yourself to others and wishing for what is not yours.
· PROCRASTINATION
Putting off things that need to be done. Procrastination can lead to irresponsibility and impatience. How did you feel when pressure built up for you to finish your work?
· SELF PITY
A DANGER SIGNAL TO LOOK FOR. It means feeling hopeless, like a victim of circumstance; maybe we feel that others do not understand us. Do you feel sorry for yourself right now? Remember, ‘poor me – poor me – pour me a drink!’’ Self-pity can result in relapse unless you do something about it.
· FEELINGS EASILY HURT
Are you over-sensitive, touchy, thin-skinned, immature? Remember to be honest now!! How does this, or has this affected your relationships with others emotionally and behaviourally?
· FEAR
Sometimes we are afraid of specific things; afraid someone will reject us, afraid a plan will not succeed. We are even afraid of changes through addiction that we may face. Perhaps we are afraid in a vague, general way that we are bound to fail. We suspect our drinking / using, our overt acts, our negligence etc. are catching up with us, and we have an inner foreboding (real or imaginary) of doom ahead.
· IRRESPONSIBILITY
Not acting responsibly for yourself, your emotions, or with / toward other people. How has this shown in your life?
· CONTROL
Trying to control people, places, situations and outcomes. How has this caused problems for you?
- PERFECTIONISM
Setting high standards and expectations of yourself and others. How has this caused difficulties or conflicts for you with other people, or indeed, with regard to your own levels of self-esteem when not achieving the goals set?
· SELF-HATE
The results of doing something or having something happen to you which resulted in you disliking yourself.
· SEXUALITY
Promiscuity, acting against morals or beliefs. Ways in which past behaviour, either in ways you have behaved, or how others may have behaved with you – may conflict with your current belief about yourself, and the way you see yourself in relationships.
· GUILT FEELINGS
Thoughts and actions which may have led to you feeling guilty – especially in situations which you may not have discussed before. Explore if being or feeling guilty is still an important part of your life?
Keep it simple and be practical with change. When these changes through addiction crop up, and they will, this is what we must learn to do, practice the wonderful secret of balance and self control, until it becomes second nature:
- Ask God at once to remove them.
- We discuss them with someone immediately.
- And make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone.
- Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.
For more help with changes through addiction contact Pathways Plett 0445330330 or email info@pathwaysplettrehab.co.za